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A Twisted Mind
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Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in DP Twisted's LiveJournal:

Friday, July 9th, 2010
8:07 pm
R.I.P., Mom
Yesterday I received the worst news of my life. My mother had passed away, suddenly, after seeming to be getting better after surgery. To make matters worse, my youngest daughter was there when it happened.

Some of you knew her. All of you knew her legacy. She gave me my sense of humor and concern for other people. I'm gonna miss her. A lot.

Current Mood: sad
Thursday, May 13th, 2010
6:15 pm
I'm Outta Here!
As of Monday, I will no longer be amongst the ranks of the unemployed! However, as part of this life-restructuring, I am leaving the DC area, probably for good. The economic reality is that my paycheck wasn't going as far as it used to, and companies use hard times as an excuse to lower salaries, so all I can look forward to here is making less money that doesn't stretch as far. As a result, I'm heading back to my "home town", Virginia Beach. I'll be working in the booming business of debt collections, so hopefully there will not be any more layoffs in the near future.

Current Mood: hopeful
Friday, April 9th, 2010
6:04 pm
Well, I got laid off today. Again. Once again I got assigned the project that crashes and burns. I gotta get out of the software business.

I kid you not, the song I was listening to when I got called in for "the talk" was "Unemployed Boyfriend" by Everclear.

Remember, folks, the last laugh is on you.

Current Mood: blah
Saturday, March 14th, 2009
11:59 am
What's Your Personality Type?
You Are An INTP
The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

In love, you are an easy person to fall for. But you're not an easy person to stay in love with.
Although you are quite flexible, you often come off as aloof or argumentative.

At work, you are both a logical and creative thinker. You are great at solving problems.
You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

How you see yourself: Creative, fair, and tough-minded

When other people don't get you, they see you as: arrogant, cold, and robotic

I don't normally go for this sort of thing, but I was curious if anything had changed in the 20 or so years since the last time I did a Myers-Briggs. Nope.
Thursday, January 1st, 2009
8:43 pm
I've suffered for my music...
...now it's your turn.

I have become addicted to Audiosurf, which is Tetris meets Guitar Hero using your MP3s. It's currently on sale for $4.99 until tomorrow. Techno is really good with this.

Download at your own risk. Muhahahaha.

(Favorite song so far: Higher Ground - Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Wednesday, December 10th, 2008
10:09 pm
Employment is mine again! I start tomorrow for a DoD project. No clearance yet, but they might get me one in the future.

Oh, and I'm a team lead! More responsibility for less pay! Woot!

Current Mood: happy
Monday, November 17th, 2008
5:27 pm
Ask not for whom the bell tolls...
...it tolls for me.

Today the layoff fairy came to my cubicle and said "Lo! Though you have six years exemplary service with this organization, we are indeed too cheap to pay your lavish salary. Therefore, begone foul wretch!" So, here I am, just before the holidays in a Hoover economy, unemployed.

If anyone has need for a .NET or Java programmer, I am in need of a job.

Current Mood: cynical
Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
11:59 pm

Current Mood: ecstatic
Monday, September 15th, 2008
8:00 pm
Richard Wright: RIP
Pink Floyd keyboardist Richard Wright died of cancer today. Time to pull out the black hammer armbands, folks.

Current Mood: sad
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
6:50 am
Wednesday, November 28th, 2007
8:50 pm
That's one hot Chick!
Just to remind me that I live in redneck country, I got a Chick tract on my windshield tonight! I feel so special since this is my first. You can see it here. It's no Dark Dungeons, but, hey, it's still paranoid religious ranting.

I think this is the most autobiographical picture Chick ever did:

He rails against televangelists in this one, so I guess he's not all bad. I'm still trying to figure out who this guy reminds me of. Bert Convy? Englebert Humperdink?

I swear I've seen him on The Love Boat.

Cool! Party at Satan's Bar down the street! I'm buying!

Current Mood: chipper
Friday, October 3rd, 2003
6:52 pm
Scary Thought
20 years from now, somebody is going to say "Gee, they just don't make music like Britney Spears any more."

What's scarier?

The music that's currently on the radio when they say that.

Current Mood: shocked
Wednesday, August 13th, 2003
10:02 pm
Rules of the Road
OK, so it's been about 6 weeks since I posted. I got busy writing a java project for a class. Hopefully it'll be up for folks to look at/break soon. Enough of my uninteresting life; let's get on to brainy contents.

So...driving in DC. Now, I've seen all kinds of emails about "Rules for Driving in [X]", but here in Our Nation's Capital1, we have but one simple rule.

You are the only driver on the road

Simple, no? Suddenly, the seemingly moronic and insane things the other drivers do make perfect sense when this rule is applied. Let's look at the ramifications of this:

  • Don't bother being in the right lane before you reach your exit. Due to the lack of other cars, it's perfectly safe to shoot across four lanes at the last possible instant.
  • If stopping in traffic would cause you to block an intersection, go ahead and do it. Luckily, there's nobody around who may need to get through.
  • The whole concept of fast lane-slow lane is pretty meaningless when you're out there alone. Just pick a random lane and go a random speed.
  • When approaching a toll booth, wait until you get to the booth before finding money to pay for it. Heck, there's nobody behind you waiting to get through or anything.
  • Turn signals are irrelevant. Thus, you are saved from this arduous and difficult task.
  • Pedestrians? Oh, there aren't any of those either.
  • Having trouble fitting that SUV into that compact car spot? Well, be sure to back up and try again as much as you like. Good thing nobody's around to try to find a spot of their own.
  • Boy, that cell phone conversation sure is intense; lots of lane drifting and speed variation going on here. Fortunate that there aren't any fellow motorists at risk from this behavior.
  • Yield signs and stop signs assume approaching traffic. Ignore them.

And people say driving in this town is hard.

1Washington DC, for you furners.

Current Mood: cynical
Tuesday, July 8th, 2003
8:15 pm
I Can't Wait Until October
Have you registered yet?

As of October 1st, I will start answering the phone differently when a telemarketer calls.

"Congratulations! You are the winner of an $11,000 fine! But that's not all! Our truly dedicated contestants get a harassment lawsuit! No purchase necessary!"

Who taught them that annoying the hell out of people is a good marketing technique? Must have gotten it from the car dealers.


Current Mood: irritated
Sunday, July 6th, 2003
7:08 pm
It Lives! It Lives!
Beware, O denizens of the Internet. My computer is back to functioning.

Turns out it was indeed the power supply doing its impression of David Duchovny's career.


Current Mood: nerdy
Thursday, July 3rd, 2003
8:47 pm
My computer shit itself as I was reading email. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping it's a blown power supply.


Heh heh heh...he said "blown".


Current Mood: frustrated
Monday, June 30th, 2003
8:03 pm
I'm convinced that the auto manufacturers make special owner's manuals for SUVs.

"Congratulations on your purchase of our fine Sport Utility Vehicle! We and our friends in the oil companies really appreciate your business. You're now part of an elite group of drivers. I'm sure you've heard that every time you've bought a car, but this time, it's true!. Now that you own one of the largest vehicles on the road short of a Mack truck, some pesky 'rules of the road' no longer apply to you!

1) "Fast Lane". Why should people get to hog an entire lane and get to their destinations faster than you? No, it is your sacred duty as an SUV owner to drive exactly two miles per hour over the speed limit in the left lane. And if there's already an SUV there, then you must take the next lane to the right and go the exact same speed, just to reinforce the idea that nobody passes an SUV.

2) Stop signs. Your vehicle is bigger than theirs; why should you have to stop and wait for them? Remember to at least slow down a bit just in case another SUV is coming the other way.

3) Yield signs. Don't make me laugh.

4) Turn signals. Extensive market research showed that none of you will ever use one, so we thoughtfully removed this extraneous and confusing lever from your SUV.

5) Emergency vehicles. Since the law says it's their fault if a police car, ambulance, or fire truck hits you, why on earth should you let them run the red lights? Make it clear that you pay their salaries, and you're not going to be sitting around so they can get to McDonalds five seconds earlier.

I'm sure all of you can come up with your own unique ways to surprise and annoy your fellow drivers; the sky's the limit! And remember, regularly scheduled maintenance is for the weak! Let's keep those MPG ratings spiraling down to single digits! Remember, drugs finance terrorists far more than oil does. Really."

Current Mood: angry
Sunday, June 29th, 2003
9:09 pm
I got to thinking the other day about DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) orders. I've decided that my DNR will have only one condition for resuscitation.

Oral sex from Kirsten Dunst.

I figure, first, if that doesn't wake me up, nothing else will. Second, I get to tell everyone in the Afterlife that I got a BJ from Kirsten Dunst before I died.

Current Mood: pensive
8:37 pm
Welcome To My Nightmare
So, now I get to see what all this LiveJournal stuff is about. Posting your innermost thoughts/desires/wants on the Internet for all to see!

What fun!

But that's not all! You, dear reader, get to have these thoughts inflicted upon you!

Aren't you lucky?

Sit back, enjoy the ride, and take a look at the inside of one whose brain works at a right angle to reality.

Current Mood: artistic
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